A funny thing happened to Lance on he way to life. He ran into someone he had known for years who exemplified the carefree, get out of dodge, go wherever the wind blows you attitude Lance was now embracing. A quiet, solid accomplished professional in his field, he had annually taken month long solo motorcycle trips on a trike...a tricked out, bright red, 3 wheeled Honda Gold Wing.

Perhaps it was his "person within a person" character that intrigued Lance years ago when he first heard about it, but ever since then, when they saw each other, Lance eagerly asked about his most recent adventures on the road. Although deciding NOT to do his sabbatical trip on a motorcycle, Lance still looked forward to sharing his sabbatical stories when he arrived at their annual encounter.

But this time, his friend announced that he was leaving his job and within the month, he and his wife were moving, to southwest Colorado to be near their two grown children. Once there, he could fly off to consultant stints around the country at his whim, ride his trike through at least 5 National Parks in the region and "not have to smile all the time." They had already determined to sell their house and take their time making a transition out West but the house sold in one day and rather than rent back, they just went ahead and did the whole deed. An auctioneer took everything they couldn't move in about 6 hours. They only kept what they could stuff in the back of a Budget Rental truck. He booked a flight for her, a driver for the truck and worked in a solo cycle trip for him. BAM! The biggest transition most people make after buying their first house was a done deal in days. Now he won't have to smile all the time.

This was a man who seemed always to have an authentic smile of wisdom and generosity on his face, but he was telling Lance, the pressure to perform for others, both at work and in his community, was wearing thin. Lance intuitively got that. It wasn't that his friend wouldn't ever smile again, but he wanted to be able to choose to do it. He wanted to be truly moved to smile instead of doing it primarily to reassure others in his leadership role. When you are perceived to be a leader, people are overly sensitive to your moods and expressions, perhaps because they have a more-than-passing stake in your opinions and attitudes. It isn't an intrusive interest, its a pragmatic necessity. A survival skill of the work culture.

Still, for Lance, "To not have to smile all the time" was a unique definition of retirement. "To want to smile most of the time" seemed equally serviceable. It all came down to one's ability to choose their daily path. Speaking of happy, Lance remembered discussing with his son a dream he secretly harbored for years...perhaps silly but quite true. Lance would like to run a breakfast/lunch only diner. Lance would take the early shift (4 - 11 AM) leaving the lunch shift to others. How noble and exhilarating it would be, he thought, to greet people first thing in the morning with hot coffee and pancakes. It just seemed like a heavenly chore and as an natural early riser, better HIS smiling face to start the day than so many others he knew. Why, to specialize in putting a smile on folk's faces and caffeine in their bloodstream as they headed out to work each day, well what could be better than that? And then, to have the rest of the day to do whatever he chose sounded like a life Lance could wrap his mind and heart around.

It can't be hard finding a breakfast place that would love to hire an ENFP, happy-morning guy, a dedicated worker, and a competent conversationalist, Lance mused. In fact, Lance didn't need to own the place. Might be better not to...just in case alternatives arose or travel seemed likely.

In an unrelated e-mail to another friend, but still on the topic of life after retirement, Lance discovered himself doing math he had not done before. It went like this. Lance is 60. His wife is seven years younger. She is in a great career track that she loves with at least 15 years to run before retirement will loom for her. By then, Lance will be 75, dead or significantly diminished in capacity. (Still kicking at 80 is not a significant goal in Lance's life. 90 is a nightmare he saw on his father.)

Those are the facts, he thought. Simple. Definitive. Compelling. Not distressing or alarming, just true. To look truth in the face is a relief, he thought. It brings with a clarity and release from fear all its own. Rather than pretend it isn't true, or hope to defy the odds longer or ignore the fact that no one is promised even tomorrow, this seemed like a compass bearing that made "a lifetime" into a 15 year program of options, He could deal with that. It took 15 years to raise kids, build a concert hall, go bald. Fifteen years had shape, meaning and edges he could see. Anything longer was nice, but not something to be concerned with in his current quest.

Fifteen years left to not have to smile. Or, fifteen years to do nothing but smile.