The Muse of Bob Evans

Lance was sitting at the intersection of Ohio, West Virginia and Kentucky wondering which way to go. And, for one of the few times in his life, he realized, there were no wrong choices. How very unlike his daily life of the past four decades. When he awoke this morning, still glowing from his new found status as the FIRST guest at the Holiday Inn Express outside of Washington Court House (see yesterday's blog) he had no idea where to day would lead him, and yet here he sat, in Huntington (yes, a week ago he was in Huntington PA but this is Huntington West Va!) muling over two of the best conversations he has had on this trip. And after checking off two more Diners, Driver Ins and Dives featured places...the Center City Cafe and Hillbilly Hotdogs (see Facebook for photos.) In fact, the whole day was a picture perfect Fork in the Road formula day.

Over breakfast, the FIRST EVER served in the new hotel, Lance chatted with a man in his 50's, a sincere and gentle soul and who seemed truly interested in the journey and quickly grasped the nature of Lance's questions. Over coffee, he revealed how his own life of teaching, then being a principal, and then taking a year off had brought him to a realization that family is the priority for him. They need his help, now more than ever, and this may be the time to move back to Iowa to reunite the generations. He could find purpose and passion in that to last him well into his golden years. Lance gave him the card and" felt a connection to this stranger that is rare. As he left the hotel, the regional manager and the hotel manager referred to Lance by name and wished him well on his jounrney. Workmen were hanging a banner from the top floor windows,announcing "OPEN!" Indeed they were.

Heading southeast on Rte. 35 toward Charleston W. VA (why not? Time to get out of Ohio...) Lance saw through the morning mists the cornfields fade behind him and hills appear ahead. Maybe having a little geographic topology makes towns more interesting. Maybe NOT being able to see what is around the corner or on the horizon makes life more interesting. As the rain started to fall in earnest, he approached the town of Gallipolis on the Ohio River, at the border between Ohio and West VIrginia. When, what to his wondering eyes should appear, but a sign saying "BOB EVANS FARM 1 mile." Swerving across two lanes of highway, Lance barely made the exit, only then realizing how fast he made that decision.

There really IS a "Bob Evans, down on the farm..." he sang. A scant mile further, he was sitting in the parking lot of the actual Bob Evans Homestead and Farm, (see FaceBook photos) a surprisingly modest red brick home, a barn and a well-worn but still operating restaurant. The mecca of every yawning coffee deprived morning traveler in search of a dependable breakfast on the road, Bob Evans built his empire in about 20 years by inviting folks over for some sausage at his house, then to his shed-like restaurant in his front yard, then to thousands of locations in his branded chain. Not bad for a guy from Rio Grande, Ohio.

An hour later later, Lance's daughter saw the pictures of Lance on the farm that he posted on FB. Turns out her college roommate lived nearby, so only minutes later, her roomie sent a FB message welcoming Lance to Gallipolis, already a receding dot in his rear view mirror. What a new world, thought Lance. You never have to be out of touch again. Anywhere. Ever. Scary.

By now he has checked the D3 app and found two restaurants of fame. The Center City Cafe and Hillbilly Hotdogs. That was enough reason to veer from destination Charleston to Huntington W.VA. And what a pleasant surprise it was. Home to Marshall University and a well restored downtown, Lance found his way to the cafe for a late lunch and ended up meeting with a bright and engaging attorney. A life-long resident of Huntington, graduate of Marshall, then law school and now a partner in his Dad's law firm, he willingly shared his modest dreams of work, family and future over home-made apple pie. While still too young to cite personal experience to question #3, he knew what his 70 year old father said to him on many occasions, "Follow your passion...whatever that may be." He knows his Dad will work as long as he can, because his work is his passion. So what was his passion, Lance asked? "I love the law because it makes a difference in people's lives. I love my family, my three children and my wife. And then, with a twinkle in his eye, he said his personal passion is martial art. "I may have started to late to really be competitive, but I really love teaching kids."

Rarely, had Lance encountered people who looked him dead in the eye and seemed truly interested in this kind of conversation, but in one day he hit two champions. Without fear. Without posturing. Without hubris. These men took the hand offered to them and stopped in their daily grind to embrace a moment with a stranger, without expectation of reward. "How often do I do that?" thought Lance. "What would life be like if I made a habit of stopping to honor sincere invitations of engagement when they arise?" Frankly, he had made an art of avoiding conversations not about work. They seemed too often to be a waste of valuable time, especially given the number of people he encountered on a daily basis.

Even within his family, he could suddenly think of many times he put off the casual inquiry of a family member in favor of sleep, TV or getting to work early. Think of how many Bob Evans moments he had "driven by" in his rush to avoid family or social entanglements or additional requests for assistance. Think how many of these would have had no cost whatsoever, but could have immeasurably deepened a relationship of real consequence. And like the turnoff for Bob Evans, once you are past it's gone forever. What really is more important than truly connecting with other people's hearts? If life is a highway, Lance thought, he should set aside time every week to take the slower back roads and the intriguing exits. And he should ALWAYS spend more time listening, than talking, a constant refrain of his dearest colleague back home. Ironically, it was becoming clear that here on the road, where Lance was virtually alone, he was learning lessons of being with others in new ways, not how to be alone.

On the drive east, he starting to redesign how he teaches leadership in preparation for September. Fact is, leadership is a chosen strategy to obtain collective outcomes. It is not a state of permanent status nor a title bestowed for life. It is a set of tools we must choose to pick up and put down, not a destiny conferred nor an entitlement of birth. It is measured in its outcome, not its input. Leadership is dynamic, contextual, and adjustable. Leadership is a human process more like facilitation than manufacturing. While some of the skills sets come more easily to some than others, virtually no one is incapable of improvement in all.

How to explain the process more clearly without using lofty phrases? wondered Lance. Well, it certainly starts with knowing who we are and where we come from. Knowing our own strengths and weaknesses is a matter of life experience and requires honest feedback from others. Then, it requires us to know the heart of those we wish to lead. That takes building trust. Leadership is, after all, a group thing. To do that, we must learn to listen for meaning, not words, for needs not wants, for hope not anger.We must do our homework and study the problems to be overcome to discover the change that need to be made.

"To lead" is a verb, not a noun. Sooner or later we must formulate and articulate a vision for action. We can enlist others in that process, but in the end, we must master telling the message with clarity and conviction. (If we can write it on the back of a business card, then we can tell it and sell it to others of short attention spans.) We have to relentlessly sell that vision until we engage and motivate enough others to act. Until then, it's just talk. Ethically, we must hold both ourselves and others accountable for progress every day. Finally, we can't stop until we publicly celebrate victory and people's individual and collective achievements.

That's seven steps and every one of them can be taught. Know thyself. Listen to hearts. Study. Envision. Tell and sell. Hold accountable. Celebrate. (Lance thought someday he might tie each of the 7 steps to a Dwarf to create the ultimate memorable training tool, but not tonight.) The point is, leadership is not a gift, it is a choice. People must choose to lead; for a moment in time; to achieve goals commonly held; seeking first to serve a common good without expectation of undue gain; and with knowledge of the risk and consequences inherent in creating any sustainable change.

So, here sat Lance, at the crossroads of three states, wrestling with which direction to head - in life and on the road. But after today, wherever he was going tomorrow, he had two new friends and plenty of time to get there. Not bad for one day's "work." Bob Evans would have been proud.