Better Than Christmas

Now that Lance is back in town, albeit still on sabbatical, he feels the pressure mounting to craft the best answer possible to the inevitable question of friends and colleagues, "So, how was your summer?" Several answers came to mind but none were satisfyingly informative, true and digestible.

The Glib: "Great! Um, really terrific."
The Prophet: "I think found myself out there on the road.
The Seer: "I have seen the future and I'm still in it."
The Vindicated: "Right time, right questions, unexpected answers."

Lance knew the easiest answer was, Read My Blog. But that required far more curiosity than most people had. They just wanted to grab a headline and go. As it turned out, many people didn't even know he was gone or had assumed he was on an extended vacation somewhere. That shouldn't have been surprising. It would be a real challenge for Lance to name where anyone outside of his family went this summer. And frankly, as long as they come back, who cared?

But this adventure had a serious purpose and sooner or later, even if no one else asked, Lance wanted to be able to sum it all up in a set of truths capable of guiding him through his remaining years. That was, after all, central to the design of the plan...to lay down a life track for the next 15-20 years. His Trinity Sabbatical tested the alternatives of Lance Alone, Lance with Family, Lance on Leadership. It asked Who is Lance outside of his job? What relationship does he have with his ever evolving family? How fulfilling are his Leadership Workshops? Those were the questions. And those questions deserved answers.

The first month on the road, when Lance was asking those three questions of total strangers and deciding each day which way to point the car, was surprising on so many levels. One of his biggest fears was that he would be bored. Nope, not for one minute. His mind was racing from dawn to sleep. As soon as he realized he wasn't sightseeing and wherever he was, couldn't disappoint if he had no prior expectations of what he would find, then the journey became endlessly interesting. Without work, without familiar context, without agenda, Lance was perfectly satisfied to become absorbed in whatever came his way. He was not the person he knew at home, but then again "We're not in Kansas anymore" are we, Toto?

As he looked back on it, every time there was a challenge, there was a gift. (Yeah, yeah. That's why they call it the "present.")

To wit:

1) Lance had long ago tailored his life to being only where he was needed and useful. If he was running the meeting, emceeing the banquet or leading the workshop, he was there. If not, he just wasn't interested in being in the audience or watching from the crowd. The higher he rose in status, the easier that became. But on the road, he was all audience, all the time. Always invisible, anonymous and forgettable, every encounter was his and his alone to initiate. And it took work, more work than he had expected. But the lesson was a visceral, tangible, humble reminder of the plight of the outsider and the uninvited guest at the table.

So, the gift for Mr. Always The Talker, was learning to listen with more patience and thereby tasting the sweet rewards of deeper conversations. His takeaway was the very practical promise to himself to seek out the stranger and engage the quiet ones. Turns out that is where the true gold lies.

2) To his great surprise, Lance reaffirmed his absolute belief in serendipity and the unforeseen little miracles of life. He fell in love with the concept of The Summoned Life vs. The Well Planned Life (thanks Myra!) which perfectly described his very real experience in a world where destinations, agendas, responsibilities and appointments were meaningless. He expected chaos and crisis, mistakes and misery without his usual planning tools and structured days. Instead, Lance found wonder, beauty, quiet heroes and competent self-sufficiency. His mind awoke, his perceptions sharpened, his energy expanded and his hope for America grew beyond measure. Lance discovered a vast and complex society filled with creative, selfless, energetic, sincere citizens and for every dark corner, there were even more bright lights illuminating the village greens of every community. Everywhere, someone was asking, how can we make this better?

So, the gift for Mr. Control Everything, was his new willingness to trust in the unpredictable events of life and pay attention when they appeared. The number of wondrous outcomes from those adventures was its own testimony.

3) Lance had set off secretly hoping he would come back a changed, improved, enlightened and more desirable being. But with every day, every mile and every decision at every crossroad, he found only himself on the other side of the moment. Surprisingly, Lance liked who he found, trusted his judgement, laughed at his own insecurities and awoke ever anxious to jump off the next diving board into this endless pool of teeming humanity. His real adventure became one of watching himself, being himself, not watching the landscape. Driven by an inexhaustible curiosity of how he would meet the next day, there was no lapse of attention, no flagging energy and no regrets over events.

It wasn't that he was self-absorbed, he was totally self-aware. For the first time in his life, there was no one there to shake him out of it "for the good of" the family, the job or the community. The Third-Eye Experience is reported by spiritualists who can watch themselves from another place even while occupying their own body. In any moment, Lance was both within and without of his body, evaluating himself as both subject and object, even within the same thought. It introduced him to himself as he had never met himself. It provided him to a calm and satisfied sense of who he was, is, and will be without rejecting or regretting who he had been.

So, the gift for Mr. I'm Never Good Enough, was that he finally found real peace with the person he had become over his first 60 years. Satisfied with the present, Lance was now absolutely confident that even greater wisdom would come to him no matter what choices he made in the future and he would be prepared to grasp it when it came. He realized he could trust his instincts. They were better than he previously believed.

4) During the months leading up to the launch, Lance had encountered numerous friends who suggested he go there, do this or see that. People thought the trip's destinations were the point. Lance didn't know why, but he reflexively rejected that notion from the beginning and and he was right. No place really mattered, even when it was remarkable. There were just as many lessons to be learned in the midst of a small town, featuring only a humble player-piano museum, as there was in the frantic street scene of Belle Cher, a massive citywide arts festival in Asheville, NC. Lance could be somewhere or no where, but the value of the moment resided in wherever he placed his attention, not in his surroundings. Now Lance saw that reality is a constant choice between focusing on the internal or the external environment. He always had the ability to add value, whenever he choose, just by redirecting his attention. And if he was not always seeking to add value to life, why are we alive?

So, the gift for Mr. I Don't Control My Life, was he could choose to focus on all those pesky internal problems dumped on him or on possibilities just over the horizon where few can see. He could choose to spend his discretionary time among people who enhance life, cherish beauty, initiate growth and bring people together, instead of with naysayers and nabobs. He could choose to slow down and listen, speed up and get things done, or reach out when possibilities arise to open doors, especially those no one else is interested in. He had choices.

5) From the moment he walked out the door in July, a small voice inside Lance was saying, "Whatever you have done, is done. You can't come back now until you know why you are coming back or you might as well keep driving." It is true that coming back because you have to and choosing to come back because there is more to be done are two entirely different things. Lance wanted to come back choosing to return for a purpose. But he couldn't put his finger on what specific value he could offer until, one day, he was browsing through a capital campaign brochure someone in the office found from fifteen year ago entitled, "The Next Step In Excellence."

The brochure envisioned, in plain and simple language, a future arts campus with many buildings, not yet built, and foretold of comprehensive programs, not yet launched. The closing argument on the final page spoke eloquently to the heart of public, private and community interests of Montgomery County, just as clearly and compellingly today as it did then. And Lance suddenly realized, that's what leaders uniquely do. They make the case, state the narrative, articulate the meaning of the dream in a language many can understand. Then, Leaders motivate the many to choose to come together and act in concert.

Lance saw this as entirely distinct from management skills and the mentality of operations and execution. Budgets and boards, staff meetings and schedules, publications and programs: these are only tactical extensions of THE WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO. Someone must craft the message of mission and meaning and then continually reinforce it to employees, patrons and audiences every day. Someone must hold up those who "get it" and celebrate the successes of their employees and patrons in pursuit of that vision. We call these people leaders for what they see, not where they sit.

So, the gift for Mr. All I Ever Do Is Cut The Budget and Go To Meetings, was to pay more attention to the crafting, expression and vitality of the MEANING of the work than the daily execution. Find the new places, faces and stories word to tell the story we are living. And every day, get up and go wherever new friends can be made.

Lance knew there were many more gifts waiting to be unwrapped. But at least he had finally. It was better than Christmas.